Man Backed for advising Friend he isn’t the ‘Victim’ After break up

a blog post about men exactly who told their allegedly “narcissistic” pal to “stop trying playing the sufferer”
soon after a breakup
has gone viral on

In a blog post shared on Reddit’s Am I The A**hole (AITA) subforum in login name Square_Wave9672, the person mentioned his buddy Bill might managing his today ex-girlfriend Sarah since the end of April.

Bill presumably
“randomly broke up with her”
some time ago, but she is been not able to transfer because the woman brand new home actually readily available until Sep 30.

According to research by the individual Bill provides allegedly “always presented narcissistic character qualities,” especially in their past connections.

The guy stated: “Sarah wanted to end up being as adult and friendly concerning whole thing as you can, but Bill has been doing simply be because antagonistic as you are able to.”

After reading his complaints, the user told Bill to “stop trying to play the target. No-one right here thinks you are the target within this…so simply stop b****ing and acquire over it.”

The consumer requested “AITA for how we handled it?”

a stock picture of two guys resting external, with one appearing distraught along with his mind down. a post about men who told their pal to “stop trying to try out the victim” after a breakup went viral on Reddit.

iStock/Getty pictures Plus

A narcissist displays “a pathological inflated feeling of self-importance and decreased understanding and concern towards other people,” Adam Borland, a psychologist through the Cleveland Clinic,

in April.

Ramani Durvasula—a clinical psychologist who’s got made an appearance with will most likely Smith and
Jada Pinkett Smith

Red Table Talk


in April that “underlying all of this is actually a fragility and a feeling of insecurity or inadequacy.”

Based on a
March 2022 research
, that was “the first one to analyze how narcissism relates to reactions to intimate separation” and ended up being released inside the peer-reviewed log

Character and Individual Variations

, “narcissistic competition had been of greater externalized (fury) and internalized (depression and stress and anxiety) bad emotion, while narcissistic admiration had been connected with higher fury much less depression.”

The analysis stated: “Narcissism ended up being not related to attributions of fault your separation or commitment issues, but admiration was actually connected with a better character in starting breakup.”

Narcissistic affection entails having a belief that you’re unique and a need to allure, Gwendolyn Seidman, a co-author on the study, revealed in a March 2021 post for

Therapy Now


The 28-year-old individual inside the most recent viral article said that “Bill arbitrarily dumped” Sarah, 33. “When questioned what happened, he states that he just disliked that his household don’t felt like their home caused by all her material. Which everybody thinks is ridiculous,” the user stated.

Because break up, an individual mentioned Bill, 29, has actually “done silly stuff like blaring the television when he understands she actually is [Sarah’s] wanting to sleep. In which he’s also accomplished truly harsh things, like calling right up a for a booty, placing her on audio speaker phone and talking-to the woman about once they could hook-up as he understood Sarah could hear it.”

The initial poster said Bill “kept whining, attempting to sound like the prey in the scenario.” He informed Bill “if you might have been adult concerning separation, after that indeed there wouldn’t be any sufferers…but you made Sarah the sufferer by all of your actions.”

Several Redditors backed the first poster’s response to Bill and urged him to get rid of having him as a friend.

In a review that had gotten 9,000 upvotes, user crunchyleafs_ mentioned the initial poster was “NTA [not the a**hole] And from every ex gf [girlfriend] of a narcissistic a**hole, thanks. Honestly exactly why are you buddies with this type of a tool tho?”

In an opinion that had gotten over 2,000 upvotes, the initial poster responded: “I know it sounds bad, but a lot of the guys in our team are introverted and detest speaking with new-people. He is one of the few which earns new-people. I think this is why we hold him around.”

Consumer JLAOM said: “That’s not a great justification. Kindly drop this person. Their charisma isn’t beneficial.”

Consumer SeraEck mentioned the consumer ended up being “NTA For taking a stand for Sarah,” but “you might need to simply take a much deeper view your commitment [with] he. He is a narcissistic magnetic A H [a**hole] you go out with as you appreciate ‘bringing new-people’ (sweetheart options?)”

“irrespective of that, provide unspoken acceptance of their behavior because except that this time around, you have remained hushed while he reaches put-down all of the women in their existence as insane,” SeraEck added.

User duperando mentioned: “why hold him around? Prevent passively letting this guy become an abuser. Your own enabling of his conduct is a big the main issue.”

has contacted the first poster for remark.

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